i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
