just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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