What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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