I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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