It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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