You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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