Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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