i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I cut my penus on the lid.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
