She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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