He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
