now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
