Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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