Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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