Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
