Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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