I like to think it a success when the cops are called
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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