i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
