we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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