I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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