she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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