Cold hands, warm shart.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
sarcasm needs its own font
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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