I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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