she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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