I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
