I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
