I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
