There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
