from now on my penis is your penis
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
