I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
