problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
