And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The dick lei will go down in squad history
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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