haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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