You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
