PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
