We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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