Only a mothe r could love this liver
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
