im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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