i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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