My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Shame - the story of my life.
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