how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
