So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
