all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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