Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
