he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
