I'll bet she douches with gravy.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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