Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
