i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
