I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Hippo gnu deer
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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