dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
