too bad you live with your parents still
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
